


Codependence

by MaeKat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Consent is Sexy, Cutting, Depression, Fluff, Gen, Heavy Drinking, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Sad Sam, Swearing, UA, Universe Altercation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:14:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeKat/pseuds/MaeKat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is on his own after he freed Lucifer from the cage and Lucifer finds him before Dean even has a chance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Routine

**Author's Note:**

> So here is chapter one of a hopefully long story. It's actually pretty dark at some parts with swearing so heads up, Trigger Warning and what not, Not really looking for trouble but you know make it double. I've been trying to find a way to start this story and now I finally have it! Sorry about what's about to happen to Sammy though, well not really but whatever, my take on what if Dean waited too long to help Sam.

Six months. Six long, agonizing months alone, without Dean to hold him up, without Dean to tell him to keep going, without Dean to watch him, six months of pain, alone with the only thoughts cluttering his head; they were such wonderful thoughts. Really though, Sam was in a bad place. He knew it, didn't take a genius to recognize the signs. He knew what he was doing was wrong, that if anyone saw him now… but he really didn't give a rat's ass about it either, he was in too much pain to care. He smiles bitter sweetly to himself. If Dean saw him like this he'd through a bitch fit, but he also hoped he'd shoot him down like the lost cause he was. He was useless, a screw up, most people screw up and maybe end up gambling away all of their brother's retirement fund or something, but not him, oh no, he was the one who made sure his brother and everyone else in the world didn't  _need_  a retirement plan. Yep, he lets Satan out of his little cage when he fucks up. 'Cause that's what he does, fucks everything up. He chuckled darkly to himself. Dean was probably sitting somewhere wondering what he did wrong and realizing it wasn't his fault for once and that it was his. That little old Sammy was the fuck up for once, all by himself. That's why they were 'hemispheres away from each other', right? With that Sam smiles and draws the blade once more across his bicep because there was no reason to keep him whole anymore, not like he could fix the shit storm he had brewed up, so he just cut the time, quite literally.

He sat there transfixed by the blood dripping down his arm, wondering if Dean even thought about him these days, he never called. Sam had called of course; quite a few times actually, he'd left one or two messages, never got a call back or an answer. He gave up after the line was disconnected a few weeks ago. He could track his brother, it wouldn't be that hard but then again, Dean could always find him, not like he was hiding from his brother. That's why he never went too far, why he never took too many pills or cut too deep, had to miss those arteries or else he'd pass out, if he passed out he'd miss work at the bar, if he missed work at the bar then Lindsey would check up on him; it was simple enough too, just check the employee form for the room number, and she'd find him passed out on the floor, not dead because it'd be too good for him to just lay down and  _die._ She'd either take him to the hospital or call 911 either way he'd be in the hospital and they'd somehow call Dean and Bobby, Dean would ignore it but Bobby would send him out anyway, and when he woke up Dean would be there looking at him and he'd give him a small smile cause he'd finally see his big brother again, but Dean would just look at him as the blood sucking junkie fuck up because that's all he was: a fucked up freak. Then, Dean would check him out as soon as possible bring him back to Bobby's try to fix the most broken thing in the world and ignore everything he'd done, for Bobby's sake of course, but every time he'd look at him, his eyes would scream accusations at him. He could probably handle Bobby's looks of pity, of wondering what he did wrong, but he couldn't take Dean's eyes looking at him like that judging the level of screwed up he was, waiting for him to fuck up again. And right when he thought maybe everything would be okay, right when everything was almost normal, when Bobby had looked away or left them alone too long, the inevitable would happen, Dean would bring up the hospital and how horrible he felt, how stupid it was, how he fucked up and made them worry, and just throw everything he was trying to forget on him, and he would take it because he deserved it. He shouldn't have made Dean worry like that, it wasn't right to do that to Dean. Dean was his big brother his protector. Dean was perfect. He watches as the red line hardens. He really should stop…

However, Sam just takes another swig from his half empty bottle. His own little concoction of whiskey and Diphenhydramine, not that he was have an allergic reaction to anything but himself, but they helped him stay on edge, almost like he was in control, even if he was anything but, whoops there he goes again. Another drink, another cut. If his brother could only see him now…

He laughed again as he cut right in to the red line on his bicep. He needed to stop; he knew what he was doing was wrong, he needed help, but it felt so  _right_ , that he didn't care. It made the pain physical and real,  _tangible_  for just a moment. It kept him grounded in a world flying above him at a thousand miles an hour.

_"Like the **demon**  blood Sammy?"_

Oh, looks like the diphenhydramine is just staring to kick in and Dean is back this time, at least it's better than when mom is there or anything inside his head other than Dean, Dean's words hurt the least because he knew what he was going to say each time, and he deserved it. Sam puts down the almost empty bottle. He should stop. Lindsey would notice something's up if he kept going but tonight just feels like a good night and he goes a little farther than normal. Of course, now he's made the sheets all bloody, the last cut was a little too deep. Not that he cares; if the maid catches him he'll just move towns then. No biggie. Yeah, he'll move two states over, make it obvious of course so Dean could find him if he needed someone to fuck stuff up for him again.

" _Sammy, look at what you're doing to yourself! You're a mess. You never could just keep it together without me could you? You're a disgrace to this family! You don't deserve to call yourself a Winchester!"_

Sam sighed as the hallucination gets louder; it was starting to get a bit annoying so he chugged the last of the sickening liquid and threw it in the trash. No need to keep the bottle. He'll just make more later.

" _Sam, are you even listening to me? HA. You always were an ungrateful little shit. I auta-"_

Sam continues to let his mind berate him as he takes a good long slice across his chest for the night, avoiding the anti-possession symbol of course, not that any demon would want to be in him now. They'd probably kill him. There's a thought… maybe he should start hunting demons again. At least then it'd look like he went down swinging. Yeah, he'll do it after he sobers up. Maybe tomorrow, he'll turn in his letter and go hunting again, like old times… Maybe he'll find Dean on a case, maybe Dean will take him back. Maybe… maybe… Dean will trust him again… Sam knew love was too much to ask for now but trust… Sam could settle for just having his brother give him a speck of trust again.

Sam sighs, meticulously wipes the blood off the knife on his shirt and puts it carefully on the bed side table before lying in the blood speckled bed for the night falling asleep to the sounds of Dean yelling at him and ripping him apart. He smiles at least some sort of Dean was here, at least he wasn't all alone. Dean yelling at him showed at least this Dean cares enough to talk to me. At least with this Dean… I can pretend.

It was just a normal everyday night for Sam Winchester: fucked up freak.


	2. Falling Down

Sam groaned as he awoke to the sun peeking through the curtains of the crappy motel he was sleeping in and effectively burning his tired eyes. He made it through the night alive again, how wonderful. He stands up from the bloody disaster zone of a bed a little too quickly and sways to the left almost falling over. For a moment Sam is not really sure if he was one hundred percent there or still in cloud fucked up nine.

After gaining his bearings a few minutes later, he stumbles over to the sink and inspects last night's damage. He had a few deep cuts on his bicep and a shallow gash along his chest. Then, there were the old cuts he had reopened along his shoulders in his sleep. Damn, this was more than what he'd wanted to do last night. More than usual anyway, and one of the cuts along his bicep looked like it might need stitches as well. He sighs and picks up the needle and floss he keeps at the sink at all times and begins to sow the cut. Normally when he'd have to stitch himself up, he'd wince and bitch about it until Dean would begrudgingly come over and fix him up. It never really hurt that bad but he had to admit, he liked Dean babying him every once in a while and it was just nice, even if it was a bloody mess of a job since Dean had the sowing ability of a cow. Then, for a moment, he could trick himself in to thinking Dean cared for him, that he was fixing Sam out of the goodness of his heart, not just the feeling of responsibility.

Sam smiles and shakes his head of the thought. There was no point in going there again and he knew that if he let himself slip into thinking about Dean too much, well, last night might not stay a nightly ritual anymore. He blinks realizing he's finished sowing himself up and grabs a fresh bottle of whiskey and douses the cuts in it to clean it before hoping in the shower and scrubbing off what seems like a whole layer of skin, opening several other cuts in the process, and drying off his soon to be scarred body with a bloody spotted towel. He chooses his old long sleeve table cloth shirt and jeans like normal and heads out the door. He makes it to his old beat up stolen-from-a-junkyard car and drives it over to the bar for his shift. His shift under the watchful and all too observant Lindsey who was adamant about figuring 'Keith' out, not that Sam really cared. She could know all she wanted about Keith as long as she left Sam Winchester alone.

He parks in the lot behind the bar and takes a deep ragged breath. He wasn't Sam lost-his-lifeline-fucked-up Winchester. He was Keith, normal everyday guy, Keith and to everyone else it had to stay that way. There was no need to get anyone else involved in his crap. He wasn't that bad. He was fine.

With one last look in the flip down mirror to triple check nothing from last night was visible, he makes his way inside a small smile plastered on his face and he goes through the motions of his day. He serves the local drunk his beers, tells Lindsey he's too busy for that "tell all dinner" she's been begging for, and tries to be all around normal, happy guy who's drifting through town without a care in the world. Ah, yes, this was his life, dull, boring, and safe from monsters. Well, except earlier when he had called Bobby about some serious demon activity. It tore him apart telling Bobby to send someone else to work on it, but his stiches shouldn't be stressed for at least a few days so he didn't want to chance it damaging the muscle tissue to kill a few demons. Maybe he should call Bobby back… he should take the case, it might just kill him but what else is new? Sam was ripped from his musing as a thick drawl calls out.

"Sam! How ya' doing boy?"

He clenches his jaw. _Great_. They were already here. Sam glances at the clock. Ten, that means four hours to close. There was no way he was going to go hunting now. Not that he had anything against these guys. He wasn't in a group hunt mood, too many memories. Plus they'd ask too many questions and those questions would go back to Bobby and there was no need for Bobby to worry about him.

"Hey guys," he plasters on a happy fake smile. Not that these guys would notice. They already looked like they had a few before they got here.

"Sam? What happened to Keith?" Sam glances over at Lindsey who had the slyest smile he'd ever seen on a girl. Damn it, she heard them use his real name, "Uh… How about we talk later, huh?" Sam feels bad for using her like that but she instantly lights up

"Dinner?" Oh, this girl…

"Uh sure, but if you could just give me a moment, I'll answer all your questions later, okay?"

"Okay!" she smiles and walks off. Sam sighs he'll have a mess to deal with that later at a dinner he didn't want to attend. No 'fun' tonight. He was still mulling over if that was a good or a bad thing when one of the hunters starts talking… again.

"Do ya remember me, Sam, I mean, Keith?" Sam nods at the winking hunter warily, still trying to place him.

"You're Tim, right, from that hunt in Missouri?" Sam keeps the motions going like he actually cares and ignores Lindsey's arched eyebrow as she cleans one of the tables. She really needs to go away. People didn't used to annoy him this much, but since Dean basically kicked him out on the streets they've really been working his nerves.

"Ah, well sorry about blowing your cover like that," Sam thanks his lucky stars that the old hunter drops an octave or two at the mention of 'cover' so that Lindsey wouldn't over hear it, "but we'd really appreciate it if you could give us a hand on this one, son. There's almost a nest of demons just outside of town and-"

Sam holds up his hand cutting them off, "Sorry, but I'm not really hunting right now." He gives them a half apologetic look and the old men nod.

"Okay then, we'll be outside of town in the old farm house if you change your mind, but if you could give us your finest beer before we head out..." The man smiles slyly.

Sam chuckles at the hint; if these dumb asses wanted to get hammered before they fought some demons he wasn't going to stop them. Not his job, "Yeah, sure it's on me."

He men head back to talking about their hunt as Sam hands them their beers. "So, Sam is it?"

Sam faces an impatient looking Lindsey, "Yeah, Sam Keith I used to go by Sam when I was little, but now I go by Keith," the lie flows easily. For a second he feels bad for lying to her, but only a second. Most co-workers who had boyfriends didn't care that much. Not Lindsey though, she apparently made it her life's work to know everyone and anyone. It was annoying.

"Well, so dinner, then? Anywhere in particular you want to go?"

"No, not really, anywhere is alright,"

Lindsey pauses to think and then brightens up, "How about a surprise? I'll drive."

Sam laughs to himself and nods, "Yeah sure, but uh don't you think it'll be a little late? We've got a while before shift ends."

She laughs, "It's a weekday, I don't think anyone will miss us if we skip the next few hours and close early."

Sam just smiles and nods as the overly peppy blonde leaves after noticing the group of hunters is gone, and grabs the glasses leaving Sam to wipe down the bar and brood. Those guys blew his cover, and were half drunk they were in no shape to take down demons, especially if there were as many as they had said there were. A small voice told him it was not his problem that they could handle it but the other and louder voice told him he should help them out since it was his stupid self that got them on the case but his internal struggle was abruptly ended when Lindsey grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the door making the decision for him. "Come on , let's go."

Sam resists her pull and stops her right in her tracks, "Can I at least lock the door before you drag me to this mystery location?"

She smiles and flips the open sign over and winks, "Fine but hurry up," Sam huffs as he walks over to the bar to grab the keys off the hook. He finishes turning the lock on the door as Lindsey pulls up behind him and honks impatiently. "Come on, Keith! Dinner awaits!" He gives a forced smile at the now hyper, peppy blonde and jumps into her passenger side as she speeds off to some unknown restaurant. When they get there Sam's about to go on auto pilot, he just wants to get home and play with his knife some more, the pull's strong but bearable. Sam sat in the car brooding and finally decided he should just let himself go, he'll leave town in three days, he'd been upset for so long he should have some fun. So Sam perks up a little as she asked some questions about his family life and what not, Sam talked about his dad being a hunter, substituting deer for monsters, and how his brother was that full time while he wanted to go out and do something else outside the family business. She'd talked about her life how she'd run away because school was too stressful or something like that, it seemed like the generic 'rebel' phase; mostly he just answered her questions. She didn't pry too much especially about the lack of him mentioning his mom or any girlfriends and for that he was grateful. He'd stayed after dinner for a few drinks with her, careful not to get drunk and paid the bill before she offered to drive him home, which he countered with the fact she couldn't even walk straight and drove her to her house in town before walking back to the bar to grab his car in the abnormal cold and driving home to collapse on the bed.

Sam sat wondering, as he pulls his legs to his chest sitting up, if he should carry out his nightly ritual. He had time, it was only midnight. He shook the thoughts from his head. It was wrong. He shouldn't want to hurt himself… but he _wanted_ to… maybe if he did Dean would come back and he could go out to a bar with Dean and watch as he hit on women. Laughing and cheering him up when he got rejected. Making sure they both didn't drink too much. Sam smiles at the memory. He had gone pretty far the night before and there was no need to go too fast but he didn't care either.

And for that reason he still picked up his knife and cut into his knee. No one would question him. He was barely tipsy, and he just wanted to see the blood drip down his leg before he went to sleep. Granted it wasn't a nice looking like the ones on his bicep, it was barely a scratch really. However, it was just deep enough for a drop of blood do cascade down his leg. He studies the droplet falling from his leg, it really was a magical display, the red bead falling leaving a trail of crimson where it touched, tainting his pale skin. Not that it could be tainted more than it already was. He was a monster. Just like Dean had said...

Sam shivers as a chill sweeps through the room and watches in fascination as the droplet hardens in to a frozen bloody tear. He gathers himself enough to rip his gaze from the droplet to see a man standing in the room. Normally, he'd freak out and shoot the guy or something because there was nothing natural about the guy who just so happened to show up in _his_ motel room in the middle of the night with out opening the door, however; the man just looked sad and angry, not angry like how a ghost would look at him if this room was haunted and he'd already checked if the room was haunted, twice, but the man looked angry at himself. He could tell because it was a look he saw in the mirror every day.

"Sam...what are you doing?"

Sam ignores the question and indulges his hunter side. "What are you?"

"An angel." Sam snorts. That explains a lot the helpless expression, entering the room with out using the door, the staring, and he probably had something to do with the level of comfort that he felt right now, too. Hell if he knew. Angels weren't even real to them a year ago. Now they're playing suicide watch? Whatever floats their boats.

"What do you want?" He really doesn't have time for this. He was out of the business. There was no need for him to be alive anymore. He'd done his damage.

"I'm not sure right now."

That grabs Sam's attention, "What do you mean?"

The angel tilts his head a lot like how Castiel does it when Dean makes a pop culture reference.

"I came here to ask you something..." the angel trails off, "...but I didn't realize that the pull ment this..."

"Pull?" Sam arches his brow, demanding an explanation and lays his knife on the table, he obviously wasn't going to use it anymore tonight with an angel in the room, and crosses his legs focusing his attention on the angel and ignoring the strain his now frozen blood has on his skin.

"Yes. I felt a pull to this location, I had ignored it at first, thinking it had to do with... something else... but it's continued for sometime now and flares occasionally and I believe it has something to do with your... injuries."

"So what you're just flying around and all of a sudden you just decide to show up here, of all places?"

"Well, I knew you were in this general location, Castiel made it to where I couldn't know exactly where you were but I new where you were approximately, and I thought that was why I felt the pull, but I now believe it was so that I could stop you."

Sam snorts and flops down on the bed letting his head hit the hard pillow, "Stop me form hurting myself? Good luck with that. That's like asking Dean not to eat pie. "

The angel narrows his eyes at Sam's sarcasm, "I have my ways... though I am surprised that you're not going to call me a liar or investigate me."

"Normally, I would but I just don't care anymore. My brother left me for dead and won't answer my calls. Hell, he c _hanged his phone numbers_. I have almost nothing to my name and have been hunting for years and all I have to show for it are a few battle scars and some stories that could send me away to a mental hospital, everyone I've ever loved is either dead or hates me except Bobby but Bobby has to look after Dean...I just, I just don't care anymore. I really don't. I've tried my hardest but everything I do seems to make things worse." Sam lets out breath he didn't realize he was holding and runs a hand through his hair, "And now I'm ranting to an angel who I don't even know because he's the first person who's really honestly cared enough to ask and who wasn't doing it to get inside of me. At this point you could set the room on fire and I'd just sit here and burn like I should, like I deserve."

The angel looks down at the hunter and joins hims on the bed staring at the hunters viciously scared body. "You know Sam, you don't make things worse. You made things better for me..."

Something in Sam's mind screams how totally and utterly wrong it was to be conversing with an angel while lying down in bed and how this angel seemed to like him for starting the Apocalypse and how only one angel really would like the fact he had opened the cage, but he just didn't care anymore. The angel could stab him through the chest and kill him, and he still wouldn't care. He might even thank him.

"Sam, I have a question for you."

"Hmm?" Sam lazily lulls his head to the side looking into the blonde haired angel's stormy blue eyes.

"What do you want?"

"Right now?" Sam turns his attention back to the ceiling hearing the angel hum in agreement,"I'd say Dean, but he doesn't want to see me. I'm just a monster to him. So I don't know..."

The angel hums shifting on the bed so he's on his side and closer to Sam's head. He brings a hand questionably up to Sam's hair and the hunter shrugs allowing the angel to rub his hand soothingly through Sam's hair, " You know Sam, I want my brother back, too... but I don't think he'll want me, either. We didn't leave on the best of terms."

Sam knows who the angel is, that statement left no question in his mind, but he still doesn't question the angel, he just sits there in the comfortable silence with him running his hand through his hair. Sam remembers when Dean would lay down with him after he'd had a nightmare and run his hand through his hair just like how the angel was doing it. He really missed Dean.

"Sam,"

"Hmm?"

"Do you mind if I stay with you?"

"Sure, I don't care,"

"Thank you,"


	3. Wake Up

Sam opens his eyes. He's in a pit of darkness. He moves, no  _floats_  around. Unsure of his surroundings he begins to call out, "Hello? Is anyone here?" He pauses a moment waiting for an answer, before he moves a few feet forward. He takes a wary glance behind him and notices a bright pinprick of light in the distance, almost like a star, and begins moving towards it. "Hello?" The light seems to be responding to him and brightens. He cups his hands around his mouth and calls out again, "Hello?!"

" _Hello_ ,  _Sam_." The voice is old and foreign yet he feels a bizarre sense of comfort, of belonging in it. He moves forward and a chill runs down his spine at the drastic drop in temperature and he begins to move frantically towards the light. He stops

"Who are you?"

"Do you not remember me? Has it really been this long, Sammy?"

Sam squints in confusion at the light and reaches a hand curiously out for it. "What do you mean?"

"Let me show you."

The light explodes and surrounds him and a cool rush flows through the hunter and he feels safe, at peace,  _home_ ,  _Lucifer_.

Sam awakes with a gasp jackknifing in the bed. The feeling he had from his dream was still there but much less intense. He brings his hand up to his head before turning and realizing there was a body next to him. Lucifer's body was next to him and he was cold and it felt nice and... Lucifer had stayed through the night. Not that it was unexpected; he  _had_  told the angel that he could stay if he wanted to. Maybe part of him had thought the angel would leave after realizing how messed up he was. That's what everyone has done before.

"I wouldn't leave you Sam."

Sam shoots the angel a look. He could clearly see the man Lucifer inhabited now. He wasn't that tall, he was blond wearing jeans and an old tee. He looked normal, average even but Sam knew he was anything but. He wondered if the man was still alive what he story was why he had let the angel in. How Lucifer knew what to say. Was that why he felt a cool presence in his  _soul_? Was it the angel? Was Lucifer reading his mind now?

"Sam," Sam watched as Lucifer's lips twisted up into a small endearing smile, "You should really calm down,"

"So you are reading my thoughts."

"You think loudly,"

"Can you stop that?"

"Do you really want me to?"

No. Not really.

"Yeah, it's kinda creepy."

The angel just smirks while he stares at the Winchester who barely suppresses a whimper, a fucking whimper, as the feeling or whatever it was left, "Thank you," Lucifer beams at the praise as if he hasn't ever been thanked before... which in retrospect he probably hasn't. Did angels thank each other? He hadn't heard Cas thank the angels he was with but then again they were dicks. Sam pulls his legs over the side of the bed as he muses and he feels Lucifer's gaze on his back. Why was he so okay with the  _devil_  lying in his bed? Damn, he needed some time to think.

"I guess...uh… I'm going take a shower." Well that was a lame excuse. Oh well. Sam lumbers towards the bathroom and pauses before glancing over his shoulder and pointing at the angel who was lying on top of the covers, legs crossed and arms over his head still smiling. "Don't break anything."

Lucifer arches his eyebrows his smile fading, "Only as long as you don't either, Sam."

He just responds to the seriousness with a quick nod before scurrying into the bathroom and letting his now private thoughts run wild as the water ran over him. He had to be insane. The Devil was in his room just sitting there! What the frickin' hell? This was so many levels of wrong. What would Dean think? He'd probably think Sam had betrayed him in, which, he kinda did by letting him stay the night in his bed god that sounded sexual... damn it. He'd messed up again hadn't he? He wasn't even trying to do anything and he still messed it up. He'd been punishing himself  _for_  fucking up and then he did it again. He moved his face into the direct line of the shower head and he wanted, no,  _needed_  to forget. He'd promised Lucifer he wouldn't break anything. Wait what? So now he was listening to the devil? Fuck. He was such a failure and a screw up, he took a deep breath as he began rubbing his shampoo into his now wet hair, but, at least, if Lucifer was here he wasn't killing people right? So all he had to do was watch after him and everything would be okay. He couldn't help Dean stop the Apocalypse anyway, and Dean had Castiel and Castiel had never failed him, so he probably didn't want a fuck up like him around anyway. Not like they were on the best of terms either.

He should call Bobby and ask for help there had to be something... no. Not like they had found anything on how to stop Lucifer. Bobby would've told him last time they talked. Unless Bobby didn't trust him either… He shook the thought away. No use dwelling on that. He knew Bobby would just tell him to send Lucifer away and Lucifer could obviously find him with or without sigils so he might as well just watch after the angel and make sure he doesn't hurt anyone. Plus, Lucifer hadn't done anything wrong yet... so he owed him the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't Lucifer's fault that Dean hated him. Lucifer getting out of the cage was because  _he_  killed Lilith so it was only fit that he had to deal with it... whatever it was. So far, all he'd done was comfort him and get him to stop hurting himself, and that wasn't exactly taking over the whole goddamn world material so Lucifer could stay, he decided, at least until he figures out what's going on in his head and with the angel.

He sighs when he notices the last of the bubbles from his shampoo go down the drain and turns off the water. He towels off the excess water before slipping into some clothes he had in the bathroom. He opened the door and took a quick look at the bed which was surprisingly empty.

"So, ready to go Sammy?"

"What?" Sam swings his head over to the direction of the voice and sees Lucifer lounging in a chair bouncing a ball he didn't even know he had in the room.

"Work, you have work today, Sammy," He scowls at the condescending tone that creeps into Lucifer's voice.

"Yeah, I do, but what are you going to do? I can't leave you here all alone."

Lucifer smiles cheekily, "I'm coming of course," Sam deadpanned and Lucifer's grin widened if that was even possible, "I'll get bored if I just wait here, it's no fun being alone," Sam noticed the darkness that clouded over the angel's bright eyes at the mention of being alone, "So, I'll just go with you."

"Okay, I guess, just don't kill anyone," Sam started walking towards the door. Lucifer jumped from the chair and made his way to the brunette's side smiling like it was the best day ever and raised his hand,

"Scout's honor,"

Sam actually laughed as they left the room.

Lucifer had in fact, followed him into work though he didn't want to be in the car. He said it was too confining and that he didn't like it. Sam just shrugged but he couldn't deny the loneliness he felt after the angel had left but he sure as hell could ignore it. When Sam had entered work, Lucifer was sitting at the end of the bar smiling at him. He'd returned the smile and started working. The whole time the angel just kinda stared at him. Honestly, it was a pretty creepy and that's something come from the guy who has hunted monsters for a living.

At the beginning of his shift, Lindsey had thanked him for driving her home when she was drunk and he just brushed it off. He honestly had forgotten about their 'date'. Lucifer ranked a little higher on his list of important things. Sam had figured out that Lindsey or anyone other than him couldn't see Lucifer fairly because A.) Lindsey didn't say anything about a guy sitting at the bar staring at him for 7 hours without ordering anything and she always talked about  _everyone_  and B.) She'd looked at him like he was crazy whenever he had talked to Lucifer. That had been fun to explain. So to keep him from getting locked in a mental ward, Sam had asked Lucifer if that mind reading thing was a two way street and the hunter didn't think Lucifer could look any happier if he tried than at that moment so they were currently talking via telepathy or as Lucifer called it 'their link' whatever that meant. The 'link' also apparently shared emotions so it was kinda hard not to smile whenever Lucifer started wandering around the bar at hour 8 and was giving off waves of confusion by literally anything and everything in the bar. Sometimes Sam had to block out the angel so he could ignore his many questions about alcohol consumption. When they got back to his room, he was  _so_ giving Lucifer some booze. A few more hours pass was almost the end of his shift also known as closing time when the door opened and the hunters from yesterday walked in. Sam could feel Lucifer bristle at them but he just sent calming thoughts to the angel. It would be pretty damn hard to explain to Lindsey why some guys just exploded in the bar cause the angel didn't like some d-bags.

The hunter who had talked to him the day before glares at him like he's the damn anti-Christ or something, "Hey, what's up?" Best to play it cool...

"What's up? What's up?!"

Well there goes trying to play it cool. Sam hears Lucifer snort but he keeps staring at the fuming man, confused at his hostility, but holding his ground at the end of the bar pretending not to notice Lucifer's hate filled gaze pointed at the man. "Yeah?" this was  _so_  not going to end well, "Did something happen?"

"Yeah, something did happen and now Frank's dead." The man lumbers forward like a drunken panther. Where these guys always drunk or was that just how he walked normally?

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry dude." Tim, he remembers lets out a bone chilling laugh and his friend raises a shot gun making Sam's hands go up reflexively and Lucifer growls taking a few steps towards the man muttering, "Worthless, ignorant scum...,"

" _No, Lucifer don't."_

"Sam," Lucifer whips around and stalks towards him, with each step his gaze intensifies and Sam can feel his stomach twist and knot, "he's  _insane_ and has a very real and loaded gun pointed at  _you,_ in case you didn't notice. Oh and he has  _demon blood_ on him, wonder why they'd have that, hmm?" His face would've been comical if it weren't for the circumstances, "They plan to  _hurt_ you and make you drink demon blood and why do I seem far more concerned about your wellbeing than you do!" Sam blinks in shock at Lucifer's rage-full concern for him and for a moment he forgets that the men can't see the angel standing before him, "What?" he breaths eyes wide he turns to the men, "You-wait let's all just- just slow down for a minute," Sam takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself, and internally curses as the Tim seems to think he's the one who overwhelmed him, like that would,  _could_  ever happen.

 _'There's just so much going on,'_  slips through the link and Lucifer's gaze softens, as if he just remembered Sam was just a man,  _"Well, they still haven't done anything wrong,_ yet _...so if you can keep from smiting them until they do something wrong, that'd make my life so much easier,"_

Lucifer snorts and decides to glare at the men.

"The second they make a move against you, I'm going to take them out," Sam opens his mouth to protest," I don't care what you have to say, either. I just found you and I'm not losing you, again."

 _'Wait,_ again _? What do you mean_ again _?'_

Lucifer clenches his jaw and he hisses, "Not now," and Sam's attention redirects to the man in front of him as he begins to start talking.

"So  _Winchester,_ when we went to take out one of them demons, he, uh," the man's smile darkens, "He told us some things." Sam furrows his brow but he holds his ground, willing the men to stop with his eyes, "He told us that you shacked up with some demon bitch,  _Ruby,_  that you drank her  _blood_ , hell, that you started the frickin' Apocalypse!"

"Demons lie..."

"But this one didn't, did he, boy?" Tim's drawl slips into his voice drawing out the 'boy' like it was a slur. Sam just stands there, he could lie but he didn't want to and these men down they were past reason they were out for revenge, a path he was very familiar with.

"I know it hurts, now," the man snorts at Sam, "But killing me will get you nowhere."

The man laughs a shit eating grin now adorning his face.

"Kill you? Boy, we don't want to kill you!"

"W-What?!"

"Nah, boy we're gonna  _use_ you!" he pulls out the vile Lucifer said they had on them, "You can't just start the fucking Apocalypse and then think you can drop out just like that," he snaps his fingers for emphasis, "Boy, we're gonna give you you're go-juice, and you're gonna kill every one of these bastards and fix this shit store that you brewed up."

Sam takes another step back, sure he fucked up but wasn't it best he just stay out of it so he couldn't mess anything else up? "Come on guys, we don't need to do anything," he pauses as Tim pries the cap off the vile and, oh god, the  _smell_ , it just smelled  _so good_ , "drastic," Sam barely finishes before licking his lips as he stares at the blood like a dog to his bone. He wanted to lunge at it, to drink it all, to feel the rush. Would it be that bad? Really and truly would it hurt to drink one little vile of the stuff?

"Sam." Lucifer's voice is cold and sharp like ice and Sam realizes that he's  _holding him back_. Sam breaks away from his trance like state and looks up at the men defiantly. The thoughts fading from his mind, of course it was bad, he couldn't get hooked on that stuff again, he couldn't hurt Dean like that  _again._

"I am  _not_ using that," he points at the red liquid, hands shaking, trying to convince himself as much as the men.

"Well, too bad, Sammy boy! I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this," Sam could tell by his smile that was a lie, "Guess we'll just have to give you a little…. motivation,"

Sam's blood runs cold as another man walks in with a handgun pointed right at Lindsey's temple. Sam eyes widen as the petite woman struggles in the man's grip as they shuffle in.

"Let- Let her go." Sam internally curses his stutter but his voice still holds its normal firmness. He could tell these men were out for revenge short and simple. He knew that look. It's the same look he had when he was out for Lilith. They didn't care if they had to blow away the world they'd do it if it got Sam to drink the blood. Shit. There would be zero reasoning with these guys.

"Keith? What's going on? Keith these guys are crazy! Help me, please!" Sam's heart plummets at her desperate cries; the only thing holding him back from doing something rash at this point is Lucifer's constant, cold vice grip on his shoulder reminding him he couldn't give in. These were no longer men but monsters. Wait what, they were still  _human_  they're just misguided by a demon; they don't really understand what they're asking him to do.

"There's no need for this, just let her go, she's done nothing," they may be past reasoning but if it could give him some time to think it was worth it.

"We will Sam, all in due time, just so long as you play along, drink the blood, that's not too much to ask is it? And then it's all over," he smiles like he's offering Sam a new car at a great deal, "but if you refuse..." The man holding Lindsey pulls the hammer of the gun back and kept his eyes locked on to Sam's, ready to blow her brains out at any sign of him attacking.

"Sam, let me take care of this, I could stop this, all of this. There's no need for this to go any longer," Lucifer's cool words struck a chord with Sam. He really wanted to stop this now and end this once and for all. These men were trying to get him to use  _demon blood_  which had gotten them into this mess. They were playing with fire and they didn't even know it or they did and just didn't care. As if that wasn't bad enough, they had kidnapped Lindsey, too, but-? Part of his mind was nagging at him. There had to be another way... Dean would know what to do but he wasn't Dean and he didn't know what to do and... He couldn't let Lindsey die she hadn't done anything wrong outside of trying to be nosy. Why did this have to be so complicated? It would be so easy to just let Lucifer take care of it….

"So Sammy  _boy_ , what's it gonna be? You gonna drink this here blood or are ya' gonna let this innocent girl die?" Sam looked at the man dead in the eye and held his gaze unblinking. He knew what he was going to do.

_"Lucifer how fast do you think you can get to Lindsey?"_

Lucifer snorts, "Faster than you can even comprehend,"

_"So could you grab her before a bullet was lodged in her skull?"_

Lucifer smirked, "If you're asking me if I'd be able to grab her and flash out of here, I could, but I'm going to have to ask for something in return,"

" _Anything_ ,"

"I  _said_  what's it gonna be Sam?!" Tim was pissed off. Might as well….

"Neither," The man looked at him confused and opened his mouth to protest, but Lucifer is already there he grabs Lindsey and is gone leaving Sam with the two men. He jumps over the counter he'd be hiding behind as the man with the gun turns it onto him and fires. Sam tires to twist away from the bullet but he still feels it slice through his upper arm. It wasn't too bed though; the bullet had just grazed him. Sam grabs Tim and shoves him between him and the gun just as Lucifer pops back in. The men jump so Lucifer obviously wasn't caring if they saw him or not but he was just staring at Sam, "You're hurt…"

"It's not that bad," Lucifer tilts his head and moves closer to Sam his hand outstretched. When the man with the gun starts yelling for him to stay where he was or he'd shoot. He apparently was loud enough to grab the angels attention because the next thing Sam knew Lucifer was in front of the man bending the gun's barrel  _in half_.

"You really shouldn't have hurt Sam," The man's eyes go wide and he whimpers, still staring at the gun in disbelief.

At the sound of the man's whimper Sam collects himself, "Lucifer, stop, let them go, they aren't worth it," Lucifer stands still but Sam can tell he's anything but happy about it. The Winchester looks over at the men who looked terrified and he can hear them whisper Lucifer's name in disbelief, "You all," their attention snapped up to him, "Get out of here,  _now_ ," they nod and make their way out of the bar as Lucifer turns to him.

"We're leaving,"

Sam looks over at the angel confused, "What-?"

"Now,"

Before he could finish Lucifer grabs his shoulder and the world seems to whoosh by as they flash to a forest.

"Where the hell are we?"

Lucifer stays serious, "Montana,"

"Where in Montana?"

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it does," annoyance creeps into Sam's voice. He'd known Lucifer for a  _day_  and already he'd moved god knows how far away and he had none of his stuff, not even his phone to call for a cab  _if_ he could even get a cab in _Montana_ , But no, they had to turn in their phones to the 'phone basket' every day at the start of work so that they wouldn't take calls or text or  _whatever_  while at work. He hadn't really minded before but now... Now it fucking sucks.

"Why does it matter?" Lucifer looks him straight in the eye and tilts his head, his eyes boring in to Sam's soul. "You're safe here. There's no way they'll find you now. You are safe." Lucifer punctuates each word in the last sentence carefully Sam realizes he's staring at his shoulder intently as if he was asking for permission to heal it.

"Can you just please tell me exactly where we are?" Lucifer pouts at Sam's whining and continues staring at the wound, but nods.  
"We're in Helena, Montana. Now if you'd please," Lucifer gestures to gash on his shoulder where the bullet had grazed him. It wasn't that bad by Winchester standards but it still ached and he didn't think Lucifer would stop bugging him about it until he let him heal it, so he surrendered his shoulder to the angel. Lucifer smiled and placed his hand on the gash and Sam feels; what he knew now as Lucifer's grace, wash over him and he barely stops a...a  _whine… afuckingwhinewhatthefuckinghell,_ from spilling out of his lips as Lucifer pulls away his face revealing nothing.  
"Sam," Lucifer's voice pulls him from his thoughts and he forces himself to hold his gaze with the angel. He would not look down like a 12 year old girl meeting her favorite movie star for the first time. Hell, Lucifer wasn't exactly the best angel in the world last time he check he was still trying to destroy the world. " _Sam,"_ This time Sam gave Lucifer his full attention all other thoughts aside.

"Uh, yeah?"

Lucifer pauses as if he was about to say something but changes his mind, "Are you tired?"  
"Kinda, I-"Sam never gets to finish his sentence as the world goes dark and coolness surrounds us.


	4. New Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I was being too picky about the beginning and finally, after all these months, decided on this one. Hopefully, I’ll have more time to write. Also, it may be a bit confusing at first but trust me just keep reading, it makes sense. Enjoy :3

He was surrounded in the bright, white light from before. It engulfed him, consumed him, and was in every ounce of his being. It made him feel like never before, it made him feel alive. Every once in a while, the light would form and make a shape. He thought the shape was beautiful, even though the shape no longer felt as such, but he knew, and he would tell him, that he was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Sure he hadn’t seen any other creatures, that he remembered, but somehow he knew that Lucifer was the most beautiful. He was glad that the darkness was gone. He didn’t like the dark, Lucifer promised that he would keep him away from the darkness and he believed him.

Lucifer was his everything.

He was nestled in Lucifer’s light listening to him tell him another story in Enochian. It had taken him a while to understand what Lucifer was saying, but after a while he had finally started to understand what Lucifer was saying. He loved Lucifer’s stories. He would tell him about the beginning and about how everything was created.

 His favorite were when Lucifer told him stories that were happy: like when he and Gabriel would play with the animals together, but sometimes, he told him stories that would make him cry. These stories confused him. Lucifer would talk about Michael, his brother, but he would start crying.  The story was happy, so it confused him as to why he would be so sad, and he would never answer him when he asked why he was crying, he would just hold him harder. Sometimes, Lucifer would hold him too tightly, but wouldn’t make a sound cause he didn’t want Lucifer to leave. Lucifer was all that he had after all.

Most of the time though, Lucifer would try and show him things, of course, everything he could make was white light, but sometimes he could make out what Lucifer was trying to show him. So far, Lucifer had shown him what hounds looked like. He liked hounds. They seemed nice, plus Lucifer liked them so they must be safe, right?

*

He was silent, a lot but occasionally, when he could put the right words together, he would ask questions. Lucifer would try his best to answer them, but there was always one question that he wouldn’t answer: Where are we? After he had realized that one: Lucifer would not answer the question, and two: the question would make Lucifer upset, he had stopped asking. So instead he asked questions about Gabriel and the other animals, even though the hounds were still his favorite, he liked a lot of the other ones too.

Occasionally, if he was relaxed enough, Lucifer could send him images of the animals and he could actually see what they looked like. The first time had surprised him because he didn’t think that there were other colors, all he had known was white and once Lucifer realized that he started to explain the colors to him. Sure he knew the story of colors and where it came from and the names of them all, but now he knew what they  _looked like_.

Everything was relatively peaceful in those years.  _Everything_  was simple. Nothing really happened. It was just him and Lucifer. Then, something  _else_  came. It was a like a thick black fog had blanketed over them and he felt Lucifer grip him tight and pull him away from it. He was curious sure; this was the first new thing he had seen hat wasn’t from Lucifer’s memory.

He kept quiet though because Lucifer seemed upset, and he kind of was too. He didn’t know what this feeling was, but it was like when he was in the darkness and he didn’t like it at all. The thick smoke began to take shape and so did Lucifer and, much to his surprise, so was he.  He squirms slightly under Lucifer’s stone cold grip on his shoulder, and for the first time he notices that Lucifer had wings: they were surrounding him on either side like a protective covering, and Lucifer is glowing.

“Lucifer,” the voice sounds old and weary, “You must hand over the boy,”

“No,” He winces when Lucifer digs his fingers deeper into his shoulder and pulls him in closer, “He’s mine and you shall not take him, Death,”

The-now-named-Death sighed, “I’m going to take him, whether you like it or not Lucifer, and you know this day was coming. Usually, I don’t care what you do, but when it disrupts my order, “he pauses, “I will take action,” Lucifer doesn’t make a move to comply with Death’s threat so he continues, “I’d rather not have to fight you on this, Lucifer, but I will if I have to. It’s not like the boy is going to die, no, he’s not scheduled to anytime soon, but he is scheduled to be born in a few weeks, and it’s my job to make sure that he arrives there on time,”

Lucifer huffs, “Here I thought it was your job to make sure everyone  _left_  on time,”

“Yes well, seeing as I am one of the few who can get in and out of your little…. Cage here, the job has fallen to me,”

The room goes silent and he feels Lucifer’s grip on him finally slacken. He barely hears Lucifer whisper, “Can you promise that he will not die before I can see him again?”

Death nods, “Of course,”

“Okay, just give me a few minutes,”

“Fine,” Lucifer pauses as if he’s waiting for Death to leave but when the figure doesn’t make a move Lucifer sighs.

He feels Lucifer turn him around and he has to look up to see him. He’s so tall compared to him.  “You’re really tall, Luci,” Lucifer smiles down at him but he can see in his eyes that he’s sad. He tilts his head in confusion before Lucifer starts talking.

“Now, you’re going to go with Death and,” Lucifer takes a shaky breath, “I’ll, I’ll see you soon, okay?”

He froze, “What do you mean? Can’t you come with me?”

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t,”

He feels something wet fall well up in his eyes and steam down his face.  “Why not?”

Lucifer‘s smile was gone and soon he was hugging him again and he didn’t even care that it was a tad too tight this time.

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t, I will see you again though, I promise. You’ll have lots of fun up there, and you’ll get to see everything that you want to and then finally after a while, I’ll be able to visit,”

The liquid was running from his eyes freely now as Death interrupted them, “I have a schedule to keep Lucifer, now if you will please hand over the boy,”

Lucifer ended the hug and grabbed his hand, “I’m going to bring him to the exit, if that’s okay with you,”

Death shrugged and he felt Lucifer lift him up and cradle him in his arms. He stared in wonder as Lucifer unfolds his wings and begins to flap after the black mist that Death had dissolved into. Hours seemed to pass with him listening to Lucifer tell him how it’ll be okay and that if it were anyone besides Death he wouldn’t let him go, how Death was actually pretty nice. Lucifer told him a few stories about Death and how he had kept Gabriel safe when a Leviathan had attacked him, of course, he didn’t know what a Leviathan was, but he was too upset to ask. He just wanted to be lulled by Lucifer’s voice. He didn’t want to leave.

Finally, they reached some sort of barrier and the first thing he noticed was the heat. It was unbearable now; no wonder they were all the way down there. Lucifer gave him a strong hug and hands him over to Death. He shifted uncomfortably in Death’s grip. He was too cold, he held on too tightly and he just felt…  _wrong_. He begins to try and wiggle his way out of Death’s grip but Death just tightens his hold on him and begins to pass through the barrier.

Suddenly something inside of him snaps. It feels as if a part of him has been ripped away. He calls out, “LUCIFER, PLEASE, DON’T LET HIM TAKE ME, I PROMISE, I’LL BE GOOD, I WON’T DO ANYTHING WRONG, LUCIFER! PLEASE! LUCIFER!”

Lucifer looks up, his eyes wide and hollow looking, like he just realized what has happened, and he thinks he sees water glistening on Lucifer’s cheek. Lucifer takes one look in the panicked boy’s eyes and with a great flap of wings flies after him. He hits the barrier and is thrown back. “NO,” he curses something and keeps ramming himself up against the barrier. He begins to scream at Death to bring him back, that he’ll be fine, but Death doesn’t even bat an eye and continues his assent.

The boy feels the void with in him growing and blood trickle down his throat as they continue their assent and Lucifer fades out form view. The last thing he sees of Lucifer is him ramming up against the barrier, his side bleeding heavily, screaming to him that he was sorry. He starts to thrash harder in Death’s iron grasp when he realizes he really can’t see Lucifer anymore. He’s horrified when he realizes that he’s completely lost sight of Lucifer and he lets out a finally horse screech of, “LUCIFER!” then the darkness consumes him once more.

***

 

Sam jolted wake his breath coming in short, hard gasps and his ears were still ringing from the dream which was still fresh in him mind. Confused, he quickly glanced to his right and saw Lucifer standing there awkwardly, as if he had interrupted something by waking up. He pushes himself up in the bed, bracing himself for the pain that doesn’t come; of course his arm is healed, Lucifer would never stand for him to be injured. The thought hits him like a wave. The silence between them stretches on for a few minutes until Sam gathers himself and shifts out of the wool sheets into a sitting position.

“So, I’m guessing that wasn’t just a dream…”

“It was a memory from before…" Lucifer looks away from Sam’s eyes as if he’s betrayed him.  "It was probably triggered by my grace when I put you to sleep, I’m sorry,” 

“No, uh, I mean, it sucked at the time but,” Sam rubs the back of his head awkwardly, “ I mean I am kinda glad that I was born and all…”

Lucifer looks up, confusion filtering across his face, “And the night I found you…”

Sam looks away his chest heavy, “That was…” he chuckles darkly, “I promise you, it won’t happen again,” Lucifer nods grimly and the two lapse into silence.

“So, uh…” Sam walks over to the window and pulls back the curtains and is greeted with bright sun and miles upon miles of trees below them, “Where are we?”

“An old abandoned house 200 miles away from the nearest town, on a cliff,” when Lucifer sees Sam’s prompting expression he continues, “I didn’t want you disturbed once I realized that you were... remembering,”

‘Oh right, you’re in my head…’ Lucifer just hums across the link as Sam shuffles away from the window to sit down at a wooden table on a, oh surprise, wooden chair. He squirms in his seat uncomfortably. A few seconds tick by, as neither of them have anything more to add before Sam’s stomach growls loudly making the Winchester’s face heat up.

Lucifer chuckles at Sam’s crimson face, the mood instantly lightening, “Sam if you were hungry all you had to do was ask,”

*

Sam had stopped eating the waffles Lucifer had snapped up from who knows where. He had jokingly asked if the waffles were from Hell’s Kitchen, and Lucifer had politely informed him that Hell did not have a kitchen, and that the waffles were from a dinner in town.

“So do you want some?” he offers, honestly he just felt awkward eating with Lucifer staring at him like he was waiting for him to implode or something. Much to Sam’s relief, Lucifer shrugs and walks over and the wooden chair he pulls on makes an ungodly screech. Lucifer’s mouth twitches up into a half smile at Sam’s thought and Sam can hear a faint sarcastic, “Ungodly…” flutter in from Lucifer’s side of the link.

After Lucifer settles down, he grabs a plate from thin air and a waffle. He glances at Sam noting how he was holding his utensils and copies him. Sam watches, awaiting Lucifer’s reaction, as he begins to cut away at the fluffy pastry and pops it into his mouth.  Lucifer offers Sam a small smile and Sam lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and continues eating.

Sam chews his food and swallows, “So what’s next?” Lucifer looks up a waffle piece half way off his plate.

“Well, we should probably move again, maybe pick up some of your things on the way,”

Sam nods and they both return to eating the waffles.

*

Sam stands outside of his once place of employment. He needed to get his cell phone. Since he had already dealt with the apartment situation, it was the only thing really connecting him to this place. Not that he really needed it anymore, no one called, but he at least needed to get rid of it. Sam glances over at Lucifer, leaning against the brick wall outside the bar before walking right in the front door.

“Keith! Thank, God you’re okay!” Sam’s eyes widen in surprise as Lindsey jogs over from across the room and bear hugs him.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine Lindsey. I’m just here to get my phone,” She breaks away from hugging the Winchester and nods.

“Yeah, you left it in the basket. I went to your apartment to try and return it to you, but you didn’t answer and…” she pauses like she was unsure as to whether to include more information.

“And..?” he prompts her.

“Oh,” she looks sheepishly away, “Nothing, I just- I just had this really weird dream, where we were in trouble and,” her face lights up in a smile, “It was just so ridiculous, you know?”

Sam smiles knowingly, “Yeah, I think I do,”

Lindsey walks over to the bar and grabs the phone from the basket, “I was about to call the cops you know? I was really worried about you Keith,” The way she looks at him makes a part of him shudder, “Anyway, here you go,” He pockets the phone and turns around. He was halfway out the door when he heard Lindsey call out “Keep in touch!” from behind him.

He had no intension of keeping in touch with Lindsey. She was nice, but it was dangerous for him to be anywhere near her, that night was just proof that he shouldn't get too attached..., it was best if she just forgot about him. Plus, he was going to destroy the phone anyway. There was no need for it anymore. He knew Bobby’s number by heart and it’s not like Dean is going to calling him anytime soon.

He exits the bar and Lucifer joins him, his hands in his pockets. “Ready to go, Sam?”

Sam pulls out the phone and flips it around in his hand, “Can we make a pit stop first?” 

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Can we go to the Grand Canyon?”

Lucifer doesn’t bother to respond. Lucifer's hand on his shoulder is all the answer Sam needs. Lucifer pauses and Sam takes the time to close his eyes and brace himself. When he opens them they’re at a cliff overlooking the Grand Canyon. For a moment neither of them moves, the air is dry, the temperature is too hot for the clothes that they have on, and a plume of dust is wafting around them, but everything looks stunning. In that moment Sam forgets why he's there and just enjoys the moment with Lucifer. The he looks down at the phone and rubs his finger over the dust covered screen. He takes the phone and throws it as hard as he can into the Canyon. He stands there silent until he hears the metallic clack of the phone bouncing off rock echo through the canyon walls. He turns to Lucifer.

“Now I’m ready,”

 

 

           

 

 

 


	5. At the End of the Day.

A figure in a trench coat stands off to the side of an interstate next to a grizzled man wearing two jackets even though it isn’t cold.

“Dean,” the voice is gruff and gravely, as if it hasn’t been used in a long time, “What are you doing?” the figure asks his face contorted in confusion.

“Doing something I should’ve done a long time ago,” Dean takes out the phone he was searching his pockets for and punches in the number he’s learned by heart. He places the phone next to his ear and waits. The phone rings once, twice, three times, “C'mon Sammy, pick up,” he mumbles desperately four rings, five...

Click. Dean’s heart drops. “I’m sorry the number you have tried to contact is out of service. If you think this is a-”

“Damnit,” Dean snaps the phone shut and grips it hard, barely stopping himself from chucking the phone onto the pavement below him.

“Dean,” Castiel takes a step forward and places his hand on the elder Winchester’s shoulder in an awkward attempt to comfort him, “I’m sure Sam’s fine…”

Dean whips around, “NO, He’s not!”, Dean curses himself as soon as he sees Castiel’s face, “It’s just-

Dean takes a deep breath and shrugs off Castiel’s hand, “I’ll call Bobby in a few hours, then… well then, we’ll go looking for Sam,”

Castiel nods sullenly and looks away, “In the meantime, I’ll try to find some more information on the Colt,”

“Ca-” before Dean can finish Castiel is gone with a flutter of wings.

“Dammit,”

 

***

 

Sam has to clutch Lucifer’s arm to keep himself from falling over. He really did not like this whole flying thing, it makes him dizzy. Another wave of nausea washes over him as the world seems to swim and a slight groan flutters from his lips as Lucifer grumbles, “Welcome to Detroit, Sam,”

Sam steadies himself and looks over at the sign that read ‘Welcome to Detroit’, his vision still a tad blurry.

Then he realizes that they were in the middle of an interstate and gathers his strength enough to look around, “Uh, where are all the cars?”

Lucifer smirks, “There’s a, uh, “detour” for Detroit. No one gets in or out without me knowing about it, and most people are out, whether they know it or not,”

Sam looks at Lucifer curious as to what he means but the angel has already changed the topic, “So Sam we have a whole city to ourselves what do you want to do first?”

 

***

 

Dean had driven all day, non-stop so that he could make it to Bobby’s house before nightfall.  He walked through the door bleary eyed and exhausted. He felt like shit and as if on cue Bobby voices his feelings.

“Boy, you look like someone just put you through the wringer, what’s going on?”

Dean turned gathering himself, and had to remind himself to look down as to not lose his balance, flop on the floor, and fall asleep.

“I tried to call Sam and he didn’t answer,” He states plainly, blinking a few times to keep his eyes from shutting on him.

“Well, no shit genius, he probably doesn’t know your number and just decided not to answer it,” Bobby rolls over to the library that now looks like all of hell went through it.

Well seeing as Bobby was working on trying to find a solution to the Apocalypse, it probably had. Wait, focus, _Sam_.

“Bobby,” Dean starts,” it said his phone was disconnected, now does that not sound the least bit fishy to you?”

That perked Bobby’s interest, “What do you mean, it was ‘disconnected’,” he scoffs at the last word.

“It means exactly that Bobby, his phone isn’t connected, so if you could point me in the right direction I’ll get to work on tracking him down,”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll tell you where he is,” Bobby pauses from shuffling around in his stack of papers, “Before I tell you though,” Dean sighs, he was expecting this, Bobby continues, ignoring Dean’s dramatic sigh, “Why do you want to find your brother all of a sudden? Don’t’ get me wrong, I’m happy you want to go see your brother and all, but why?”

“I,” Dean pauses to gather his thoughts, “Zachariah showed up and did some time warp… _thing_ , and he sent me to the future and….”  
Sam- no Lucifer’s damn smirk flashes through his mind again. Apparently he had stopped talking because when he snaps out of the flash back Bobby is staring at him expectantly.

“Well?” Bobby prompts, “Out with it boy!”

“In the future, Sam-Sam said yes to Lucifer,”

“What?!” Bobby stresses, his eyes wide, “Sam is Lucifer’s vessel?”

“Apparently,” Dean walks and grabs a chair to sit down in.

“Well, what if this is what sends Sam over the edge? I mean last time you went to go and find him-” Dean cuts him off.

“This won’t be like last time Bobby,”

Bobby nods still unconvinced, “Okay,” he grabs the piece of paper from the draw that had ‘Sam’s address’ scrawled across it. “This was the last address Sam gave me,”

Dean nods and looks it over, “How old is it?”

“Maybe a few weeks, he said he was staying there for a while, trying to get out of this life and all,” Bobby pauses, “Dean, I’m trustin’ you here. If we lose Sam from this….” Dean nods, and Bobby seems to accept that as an answer for a question never asked, “Just, don’t do anything stupid,”

Dean smiles, it feels forced and thin across his face as he tries to make light of the situation, “Please Bobby, when have I ever been known to do something stupid?”

Bobby snorts as Dean glances at the address and makes a move towards the door.

“Hold up boy,” Dean stops and looks back at the grizzled man, “You shouldn’t be driving in your condition. Take some time, sleep, eat, refresh yourself, whatever,”

“Bobby…” Dean sighs wearily.

“Don’t you ‘Bobby’ me, Dean, you won’t find Sam if you’re too tired to see the damn road. Sleep here tonight and head out in the morning.”

Bobby’s voice leaves no room for question and Dean nods, not wanting to press the old hunter any more than he already had.

“Fine,” he tucks the paper into his inside coat pocket, “I’ll stay the night, but I’m leaving in the morning,”

“Fair enough,” Dean nods and leisurely makes his way up towards his, and he uses the term lightly, room. It was right across from Sam’s room. Dean’s heart pangs with grief. It shouldn’t have taken him this long to realize that he needed to watch after his brother, that he needed to keep his brother safe. Sam always did flirt with _that_ line... Dean flops down on the bed and stares at the white popcorned ceiling trying to stop thinking about it and failing. What if Lucifer was already wearing Sam’s skin? What if Sam didn’t want to see him? What if Sam would see him and say yes just because? Dean sighs audibly into the empty room. Tomorrow, he was going to find Sam and he’d convince him to come back with him. Eventually, Dean is claimed by a shallow fitful slumber.

 

***

 

Sam was walking stride for stride next to Lucifer in the streets of Detroit. With all of the traveling and hunting for monsters he did as a child, Sam couldn’t ever remember visiting Detroit. He really wanted to just walk around and see everything. Usually when they were doing a job, much to a younger Sam’s protest, they had tried to stay out of big cities since it was easier to get caught. Sam glanced up at the sky and noticed that the sun was setting but it wasn’t getting any darker, at least, not around them.  When Sam glances over at Lucifer, the angel seemed to be glowing as they stride down another street nearing their impossible destination.

“Lucifer are you, glowing?”

Lucifer chuckles and glances at Sam, “Well, I am the light-bringer, am I not?”

Sam smiles at the angel’s attempt at humor and two continue on their seemingly pointless path through the concrete jungle.

Occasionally Sam would comment about the sights and things, but eventually he fell into a comfortable silence with Lucifer. It had taken them a while to make it into the innermost parts of the city, and this late in the year, Sam had expected it to be colder. They were in Detroit at night after all, though, Sam wasn’t sure if it had anything to do with Lucifer or the fact he was wearing all of his jackets. As they passed a winter store he felt Lucifer’s question wondering if he was warm enough and he quickly told him that he was fine and that there was nothing wrong. Maybe he was thinking too loud. A few more steps of Sam wondering how to quiet his thoughts so that Lucifer won’t worry about every little thing that passes through his mind, and suddenly Sam stops to yawn.

Lucifer turns to him, concern molding his face, “Sam, are you tired?” He thinks he nods his head, everything felt a tad fuzzy. He felt like he was going to pass out but… in a good way? He wasn’t sure. Is there a good way to pass out? Hmm? He giggles, he must’ve been thinking a little too loudly since Lucifer picks up the pace almost dragging him to their destination.

Currently, they were in the nicer part of the city, the part that wasn’t run down completely, and Sam realized that Lucifer was leading him to the only place that still had electricity in the seemingly abandoned city: the MGM Grand Hotel.

It looked nice and fancy, defiantly not somewhere he’d pick if he came here on a job.

Sam noticed that Lucifer was holding his hand like he might run away if he let him go. How long had he been doing that? Sam thought about tugging his hand away but when Lucifer gave it a quick squeeze and starts forward towards the entrance, and Sam was so tired he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but pad after  him into the hotel. They took a way-too-big-for-just-two-people- elevator up to the luxury suite. Sam can’t help but note that Lucifer seems anxious; he must have really looked tired, or something. Sam watches as Lucifer raises his hand for the door to unlock.

With a click, they enter the extremely well finished room, and the first thing Sam notices is that there is only one bed. He pauses as Lucifer lets go of his hand and takes the lead walking, a tad too stiffly, into the room. He looked like he was uncomfortable. Sam hesitantly walks over to the plush bed and plops while Lucifer settles for the off green-yellow couch. Sam lies in the bed his face covered in the pillow before pulling himself up into a sitting position and pulling off his shoes and socks and placing them in a nice pile by the desk. He follows with his jacket and slips out of his jeans, leaving only his dark grey boxers behind. Sam then slips under the covers and stretches out the sheets freeing them from the confines of the bed.  Eventually, Sam lies still for a few seconds. The silence fills the room and then Sam feels Lucifer’s gaze watching his every breath and he squirms slightly.  
He shifts again, this time turning to face Lucifer and propping his head up with his arm.

“Uh, Lucifer, if you want to you can, uh,” Sam’s face tinges pink at the insane idea of what he’s asking, “you can sleep on the other side of the bed if you want,” Sam smiles sheepishly, trying his hardest to not make the situation anymore awkward then it already is. He probably shouldn't have said anything. What if Lucifer didn’t even want to be here? What if he just felt obligated to because he’s an angel and he walked in at the wrong time. What if-?

Lucifer’s smile dispel the thoughts snowballing through Sam’s mind, “Sure, Sam, I’d love too,”

Sam swears his heart did **_not_ ** just skip a beat when he heard Lucifer say agree. Nope nope nope.

Sam feels Lucifer get under the covers and try to get comfortable, somehow losing his shoes and jacket on the walk over, and wrap his arm under his head. Sam instinctively cuddled up to his angel and his glowie-ness. Soon, Sam was asleep on Lucifer’s chest and Lucifer was once again happily combing his fingers through the Winchester’s hair.

Everything was good.

 

.

 

 


End file.
